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About Digital Art / Student Jay Nikola Dawson19/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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LOL WUT :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 2 11 Planchette :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 26 5 Invasive Thoughts :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 4 0
Literature
broken record
gone before my time
i'm dead on the inside
the flowers that grow
are nourished by my rot
the deteriorating leftovers
of the life i couldn't live
choked out by the hands
of those tasked with shelter
i was a goner from the start
because you expected me to be
a perfect ghost of my flawed self
you don't like my symptoms
the signs of imperfect synapses
an attitude grown from apathy
and the very same well-being
that brought me here to begin with
i am just a pill-stained shadow
closing in on repeating my mistakes
i thought things would be different
but it almost feels the same as it was
history is repeating itself this year
the same threats and the same outcome
i bounce between houses that don't want me
and people who would rather try to trim hedges
than actually realize the root of the problem
my illness doesn't care about your criticism
again and again i crave an overdose
but i can't bring myself to tip the bottle
because first i feel like i want to end it all
and then two voices remind me
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 2 3
Literature
alive again
butterflies in my chest
a fluttering heartbeat
red crosses my cheeks like you cross my mind
and when you take over my thoughts
nothing else matters anymore
i can move forward a little more than before
below my ribs
flowers are growing
something inside me is alive again
and you're all the soil and the sun and the rain i need
to keep it alive for as long as i am
words fall flat and i can't quite describe
how you make me come alive when you're near me
or the way my world brightens up right where you're standing
as if life is growing up through the cracks beneath your feet
and then fades without you there to give it light
you are the stars' proudest creation
the best parts of the cosmos in your heart
and in your eyes that twinkle like the skies
at night when the world is at its most lovely
in so few words you make me melt where i stand
warm with affectionate thoughts and a gentle smile
and a love that's deeper than my own self-hatred
i finally found my worth in your arms
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 4 1
Trip The Light Fantastic :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 18 0 happy birthday, miku :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 19 0 TO THE STARS :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 8 4 Star Miku :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 10 5 cat lingerie :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 18 125 what the fuck is a furry.png :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 4 2 disillusioned millennial :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 12 4
Literature
how we met
it was october, there was a chill in the air
i wanted to spend time with a friend, he had plans with you
why not walk with us, he asked? i don't think anyone will mind
you had a gallon of iced tea hooked to your belt for some reason
you offered some to me, i didn't question it and chugged some
it wasn't sweet enough in my opinion, but then again nothing really is
we hit it off, but i had my heart set on someone else
you didn't mind, you had no qualms about being my special friend
but eventually that turned out not to be enough for either of us
so we started going steady, kisses and mushy nicknames and all
we ended up moving in together, and my childhood crush found someone else
my heart was broken but you were right there for me
i threw myself into you wholeheartedly and we planned a future
we got through so many obstacles and roadblocks and here we are now
separated by land but together in heart and in mind
i wish i could cuddle in your arms tonight
maybe then i wouldn't feel like my
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 1 0
Literature
to her
i am the cosmos, unending and beautiful
an amalgam of cold infinities
you cannot destroy that which has no end
there is stardust in my eyes
and there are galaxies in my heart
my soul belongs not to you but to the universe
i am a dream and a nightmare
and all that you will love and loathe all at once
so in the end you will always remember me for something
my worth is more than you can ever comprehend
i am endless and lovely and you are nothing
neither of us can die but at least i have lived
i am loved so much more than you could know
and while i cannot see that sometimes
you do not have the power to take it from me
you are divisive and disgusting and all that is hideous
and hate is what makes up the cells in your ugly being
you project your impurities on others instead of trying to change
i am worthy of the things you try to take away from me
and all the love you claimed for yourself is no longer yours
i have taken that which you believed was yours to keep
the rot that has accumulated i
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 2 0
Overdose :icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 14 19
Literature
to you
what would have been is no longer what will be
and while i have learned to accept it
i still find it hard to let go of the past
what we have now is fine
a return to how things used to be
it's all fine by me
and yet i still find myself
in the midst of all this chaos
thinking about coulds and shoulds and woulds
things that i would have liked to have
but that never would have worked in the end
only now do i realize that what i loved then
was not the real version of you
but a patchwork of dreams and ideals
i was only able to create masterpieces for you
because the you i loved was a mere muse
a hollow shell of what you really were
i saw you without flaws or weaknesses
and i still find it hard to see you for you
i push away the genuine love i have now
because part of me still wants the perfect love
i created for myself so long ago
the misunderstandings of youth
have tainted my vision of the future
and now i find it so hard to believe
that what seemed so sure back then
is now nothing but a di
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla
:icondweebzilla:dweebzilla 3 0

Favourites

MMD - PDX Love-Colored Ward + DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 57 23 MMD - PDX Temptation Luka +DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 158 30 MMD - PDX Astray Rin + DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 152 48 Hatsune Miku ver 2.01 Download :iconmichi-k:Michi-K 215 48 [DL] MMD School Rooftop Stage :iconmaddoktor2:Maddoktor2 109 2 PDX Ribbon Girl Miku Remake *Special 680 watchers* :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 32 8 :DOWNLOAD: TDA Hanbok Style Beta Ver. 0.95 :iconsenseitag:SenseiTag 874 145 SOAP :icondinhoxi:dinhoxi 683 16 Carousel:.:Melanie :iconpuddingpie:PuddingPie 323 5 Melanie :iconkiaratogushi:KiaraTogushi 508 23 pacify her :iconpeachgelic:peachgelic 1,281 82 MMD - PDX Angel Miku Remake + DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 58 11 MMD - PDX Gothic x Rosa Bianca Pack + DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 91 13 MMD - PDX Snow Miku 2017 - Edition 1 +DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 251 124 MMD - PDX Bandage Heart Miku + DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 53 32 MMD - PDX LolliPop Miku - Remake DL :iconluiz7429:luiz7429 66 21

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dweebzilla's Profile Picture
dweebzilla
Jay Nikola Dawson
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
i'm a gay nerd who draws a lot that's really all you need to know
Interests

Activity


LOL WUT
deviantart please this meme is TEN YEARS OLD
Loading...
gone before my time
i'm dead on the inside
the flowers that grow
are nourished by my rot
the deteriorating leftovers
of the life i couldn't live

choked out by the hands
of those tasked with shelter
i was a goner from the start
because you expected me to be
a perfect ghost of my flawed self

you don't like my symptoms
the signs of imperfect synapses
an attitude grown from apathy
and the very same well-being
that brought me here to begin with

i am just a pill-stained shadow
closing in on repeating my mistakes
i thought things would be different
but it almost feels the same as it was
history is repeating itself this year

the same threats and the same outcome
i bounce between houses that don't want me
and people who would rather try to trim hedges
than actually realize the root of the problem
my illness doesn't care about your criticism

again and again i crave an overdose
but i can't bring myself to tip the bottle
because first i feel like i want to end it all
and then two voices remind me why i'm still here
my guardian angels won't let me leave just yet

Hi! This is the information you need in order to give me money in exchange for art. All commissions are full color + shading unless otherwise specified! A basic reference (drawing, dress up game screenshot, etc) so I can get a feel for your character is preferred but not required.

Bust: $5 (+$3 for each additional character)

Waist-up: $8 (+$4 for each additional character)

American Shot: $10 (+$4 for each additional character)

Fullbody: $15 (+$5 for each additional character)

Character sheet (unshaded): $20 (+$5 for full shading)

I reserve the rights to change these numbers as my skill increases and charge more for intricately detailed character designs or projects that take exceedingly long.

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconregulardarklink:
regulardarklink Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2017  Student General Artist
you ain't better than anyone
Reply
:icondweebzilla:
dweebzilla Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017  Student Digital Artist
go choke
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondevthedeviant:
DevTheDeviant Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday! :3
Reply
:iconawesomewaffle11:
AwesomeWaffle11 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Student General Artist
Sup loser! 2day b ur bday! 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzXO_5…
Reply
:iconkimiko-p:
kimiko-p Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016
haPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY OOH MY GOD
Reply
:iconpuffy-paws:
Puffy-Paws Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday Dude! *Gives you cake*
Reply
:iconpuffy-paws:
Puffy-Paws Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy (Almost) Birthday bro!
Reply
:icondweebzilla:
dweebzilla Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2016  Student Digital Artist
thanks!!
Reply
:iconpuffy-paws:
Puffy-Paws Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No probs!
Reply
:iconcl01-a:
CL01-A Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2016   General Artist
Hello! I just wanted to drop by and say hi and that your art is still amazing asf. (Also, happy early birthday! Saying it now because I won't be able to tell you on your birthday as my internet will be shut off then.)
Reply
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